Day Five and Still Alive!!!

My old work buddy, George, posted something on Facebook recently that really resonated with me today. It's from "Phoenix Theory, the Psychology of Physical Rebirth" by Chris Shugart. Here's the excerpt that was running through my mind all day...

Stage #1: A traumatic event leading to a sudden realization and awakening

My "traumatic event" was having my body fat tested. It was humiliating and it shook me out of a pattern of dietary self-destruction. But traumatic events will vary according to the individual and his or her physique problem.

An overweight person may see a photo of himself that provides a blunt reality check. A skinny guy who thinks he trains hard might get asked by a beautiful woman if he even goes to the gym. A female might get asked how "far along" she is when she isn't even pregnant. A middle-aged man could get a scare from his doctor.

Most people walk around in a willful stupor when it comes to their body and their health. They know they're too fat, too puny, or otherwise out of shape, but they choose not to think about it too much. If they do think about it, they quickly rationalize, make excuses, and push the thought out of their head.

The traumatic event has to be powerful enough to shock them back to reality and sever the downward spiral of physical decay. Because of this, a "breakdown" of sorts is usually experienced. I punched a mirror in an act of self-disgust. Others may break down and cry. But this breakdown isn't a negative experience; it's merely the first step toward change and transformation. Remember, before the phoenix is reborn, he must first burn.

Although the end of the path is a positive physical change, the process — especially this first stage — isn't always pleasant. I doubt the phoenix feels good when dying in flames, but it's a necessary part of his rebirth.

Back in October, I went out for dinner and drinks for my co-worker's birthday. I thought I looked good when I left the house. Then this picture surfaced: 

...and I was like, "Oh, her? She got faaaaaaaat." I realize it's not a great angle and I'm wearing horizontal stripes. But still, I was like, daaaaaamn. I look dumpy as hell.

Did it motivate me?

No.

Today, I decided I that I desperately needed to go buy temporary "fat clothes" because I am so uncomfortable, physically and mentally, in almost everything I own. I also thought it might be an excuse not to do laundry. That experience and that dressing room mirror was my "traumatic event." 

I did okay today. I had way too many carbs and way too much sodium, but I net 937 calories and had very little sugar. Here are the totals, via My Fitness Pal:

Totals	1,490	290	13	63	3,262	50
Your Daily Goal	1,752	219	58	88	2,300	66
Remaining	262	-71	45	25	-962	16
	Calories	Carbs	Fat	Protein	Sodium	Sugar

Breakfast: Green Glamour Smoothie 

Kale FTW!!! This was so, so good and much more filling than I expected a smoothie to be. I whipped it up last night, and only a little bit of it exploded all over my fridge and floor when I dropped my Blender Bottle this morning.

Into my Ninja went: one very ripe banana, one cup of sliced strawberries, half a cup of blueberries, a few blackberries (the recipe called for half a cup, but mine had started to get moldy. I took a risk and used the ones that looked okay. I'll eat mold but not flies), one packed cup of chopped kale, and one cup of almond milk. 

A word about the kale: Kale worries me. I always think I hate it. Maybe I don't. Either way, I read online that a great way to prepare kale for smoothies is to get rid of all the stems and freeze it. I made a bunch of plastic bags full of one cup of kale each and stuck them in the freezer. When you're ready to make a smoothie, you just take the plastic bag out and kind of crush it up in your hands so you get little kale flakes. It makes it almost nonexistent. Yay!

This recipe makes 3 cups, and I drank 2 of them before I left for work this morning (plus coffee/almond milk, duh). 

Uno

Dos

Tres

Lunch: Moroccan bean stew with sweet potatoes and couscous

Ugh, fennel.

Mid-Day Workout: Yes, you read that correctly. How awesome is our school's media specialist for outfitting our media center with a bunch of FitDesks? I graded research papers researched flights to SoCal on my laptop while spinning on the stationary bike for 35 minutes. 

Snacktime: 2 carrots (cut into "sticks;" again, I have no control over the shapes I make with knives) with homemade hummus, 5 strawberries

Dinner: Blue Corn Chip Salad

This is an interesting concoction. First, I spread two cups of Trader Joe's Baked Blue Corn Chips out on a plate. I topped that with TJ's Red Oak Artisan Lettuce (half of the package, ripped into pieces) and then half a can of black beans (I was too lazy to rinse them. Why are canned beans so slimy, smelly, and gross?). On top of that went half a cup of Whole Foods medium salsa (the fresh kind from the refrigerator, not the stuff in a jar). Believe me when I say this stuff is heavenly. Before I went vegan, I knew I had to use up all of the eggs in my house, so I was regularly eating 4 scrambled ones for breakfast topped with this ambrosia. On top of that went a sliced roasted red pepper. And to top it all off, half of a diced tomato, which was totally superfluous. 

I wanted to smother this in guacamole ranch dressing

Overall, it was okay. If you crush up the chips, it makes a nice crunch. I'm going to go throw together another one with the leftovers for tomorrow's lunch...I guess this time, the chips will go on top since I'll need to pack them separately to avoid sogginess. 

The Real Workout: While my clothes were in the dryer at the laundromat (seriously, how disciplined was I today?!), I went to the gym and pounded out 40 minutes on the elliptical. On the way, I caught Lady Gaga and R. Kelly's "Do What U Want" on the radio and then gym time turned into "how many times can one listen to this song?"  (Answer: about 5; the other half of my workout involved sweating profusely to Hardwell). I took the lyrics "do what you want with my body" as inspiration: I'm doing what I want with my body. And it feels damn good. 

Remember when Gaga was "fat"?