A New Beginning

It's 10:20 AM on a Monday and my body has never been so thankful for kale, almond milk, and fruit. Oh my GOD, this smoothie is amazing. It tastes pretty good, but it just feels like...soothing? It just feels right. It's like drinking happy. 

Mmmm, 7 supplements

Breakfast: Coffee with almond milk, Rawjuvenate smoothie with 1 banana, 1 cup kale, 1 cup frozen pineapple, 1 cup almond milk

It's 12:41 PM and I'm eating a salad that's made up of arugula and spinach that's pretty wilty and it still feels oh-so-amazing. Greens, carrots, red cabbage, grape tomatoes, balsamic vinaigrette...do I hear angels singing? I can't shovel this into my face fast enough. 

Now I've moved on to a satay peanut "salad." I really need to slow down, but this tastes like candy. Fresh vegetables. Wowwwww. This was supposed to be my dinner, but I got too excited to make it. 

Lunch: Green salad, Ronzoni Garden Delight fettuccine with sugar snap peas, baby bok choy, radishes, and yellow squash in a peanut sauce - Recipe here (substitute yellow squash for Japanese eggplant and raw agave for honey to make it vegan; omit sriracha if you're like me and also throw everything together in the pot at the end and heat for a little while longer to help melt the peanut butter and cook the noodles more). Note: This makes 4 very small servings (3 oz. of pasta divided by 4?! I was housing 4x that back in '87).

Oh, did I mention I'm home on another snow day? Normally, a snow day on the Monday after the Super Bowl would be a godsend, but I've really just had it with snow. And this appears to be a big storm that is going to dump close to a foot all over and around my car. It's going to snow until dark, at which point I am not going to want to shovel even more than I already don't want to shovel. 

I've already prepared two meals, filed and organized the 2-foot stack of documents I've been neglecting, cleaned out my closet and dresser, and watched a movie. NOW WHAT? Okay, (most) photos on my computer are appropriately filed now...my kitchen is a wreck and I need to mop my floor and scoop the litter box and organize my receipts/finances, but I am avoiding all of those things. I could take a nap, but I'm honestly not that tired. I am actually kind of nauseous. I really feel like I have a food hangover from all of the garbage I ate yesterday. 

It's 5:18 PM and I'm starving and angry and sweaty and my hands feel as dry as sandpaper. I am eating comfort food, watching The League, and trying to breathe. 

Let me back up to 2 hours ago. My poor friend Flynn, who lives a few miles away, is on crutches recuperating from surgery and needed something from CVS (which is basically across the street from my house). My street looked messy but passable and I knew I would not want to dig out my plowed-in car at 6 AM tomorrow. I also knew that if I went out, I could pick up the tomato soup I had been coveting all day. I agreed to attempt the trip. Luckily, I never returned Andrew's shovel and I was able to dig/drive myself out of my parking spot in about 15 minutes (they really got me in there good this time). The CVS parking lot was a mess, but I managed to get in and out of it and I took the highway to Flynn's, so the roadway was clear.   

His parking lot was not.

Fortunately, there was a clear spot so I snagged it, knowing that I would only be a few minutes.

I was only a few minutes.

I could not get the hell out of that parking spot. 

I tried shoveling. Driving. Reversing. Pushing. Cursing. Screaming. 

Finally, after about a half hour, I was able to get the hell out of that godforsaken parking lot. All I could think about was "I deserve a beer" (I have, like, one chocolate cherry bock. I don't even want it).


Instead, I settled for dinner and my snow day craving: a cup of Campbell's tomato soup and grilled cheese with 3 slices of Tofutti cheese on a Trader Joe's sandwich thin.

So. So. So. GOOD.

Now that I've entered snow shoveling into My Fitness Pal, I have some caloric leeway for the rest of the night. I'm going to shower, wind down, and try not to eat anything else. It's been a surprisingly exhausting (but productive) day off.

Day Nineteen: JK I'm hungry

As soon as I typed "day nineteen" this popped into my head, of course.

Now that I've relieved my attention deficit, if today's food consumption was ranked on a scale from 1 to 10, 10 being filet mignon, lobster tail, and sour cream and chive mashed potatoes and 1 being a rice cake, I'd say it was a bland 3 (rice cake with a schmear of peanut butter?).

I got to sleep in a little today. We had a two hour delay because it's so cold, the salt couldn't even melt the ice in the school parking lot. For breakfast I reheated a serving of pumpkin spice oatmeal - I didn't add anything this time. I remembered to eat before I left for work and took my standard coffee to go.

I had lunch at a normal-ish time (11:27 as opposed to 10:27) and I had my leftover vegetable stir fry from last night's dinner. See what I mean? Ho hum.

For my snack I had three celery stalks and some white bean hummus. That was the high point of the day. Celery! The high point! Pre-lunch I had had 3-4 kernels of caramel popcorn that Erika brought in from her cousin's popcorn company in Chicago, Let's Get Poppin. It was hands-down the best popcorn and quite possibly the best caramel anything I've ever had, but then I started to worry that it might have butter in it. OMG I want more NOWNOWNOW. Oh crap, I looked online. There is butter in it. Now I have to add another day to this experiment. Now I smell caramel in my apartment. I'm suffering from the "am I hungry or am I bored?" dilemma - especially because I'm watching a movie. I have no calories left for snacks. This is how I feel:

I went to Trader Joe's after work to pick up some stuff for this week (I realize that it's Thursday and didn't I just go shopping?). I have a few recipes I want to try from Vegetarian Times: vegan burgers and satay noodle salad (why does everything have to be called a salad?). I was really looking forward to making vegan burgers for dinner.

Well, all of the "soy cheese" at TJ's had casein in it. I was on my way home thinking "where the hell can I buy some Daiya?! Do I have to stop at Stop & Shop on my way home too?! What is a burger without cheese?!" when it hit me: I have to have a friggin' smoothie for dinner.

Nooooooooooooooo. Today was one of those days when all I can think about is dinner. I actually haven't had a day like that in a long time. I really, really, really wanted a cheeseburger.

Well, when I got home, I realized that my Ninja was in the dishwasher...no biggie, right? I opened the dishwasher and then realized that the stuff in the dishwasher was dirty and it wasn't even half full. Being lazy, I decided to run the dishwasher rather than wash the pitcher by hand, which I knew would take at least an hour (we're on, like, almost hour 2 now).

I decided to have a salad to hold me over before dinner. This wouldn't really count as dinner, since the smoothie is supposed to be a meal replacement. I put together 3 cups of baby arugula blend, a half cup of shredded red cabbage, a half cup of shredded carrots, a half cup of cooked whole wheat couscous (big mistake there at 110 calories), a quarter cup of pea shoots, 2 chopped green onions, 5 sliced Cherub (grape) tomatoes, and 2 tablespoons of balsamic vinegar (perfect ratio). I wolfed this down ravenously. Still hungry. I ate a vegan cookie. Still hungry. I preemptively logged in my smoothie (with no extra ingredients) and I have 101 calories left. I'm sitting here trying to watch a movie over the roar of the dishwasher, pondering what I can add to my smoothie to make it tolerable. I did stock up on 19 cent bananas at TJ's, but those have a lot of calories.

I'm also going to make a smoothie for breakfast tomorrow for three reasons: 1) Then I can actually enjoy my dinner tomorrow night, 2) I am proctoring the SAT on Saturday morning and I don't really want Friday night's dinner to "take effect" while I'm there, and 3) I have one midterm exam first thing tomorrow and there are 2 other teachers with me so if this happens, I should be safe:

Sorry for being gross.

Pink cup, pink robe, blue smoothie

Anyway, my smoothie is ready! I don't know if it's because I was super hungry or if it's just that good, but IT'S GOOD! Blueberries are clearly key. This time I mixed the protein, super greens, almond milk AND a teaspoon of imitation vanilla extract, a teaspoon of (real!) almond extract (another factor in this smoothie's awesomeness - I freakin' looooove almond), 3/4 cup of ice and a cup of frozen blueberries (hoping the ice would add extra volume). 

So this is where I am today:

Totals	1,161	200	21	52	1,398	50
Your Daily Goal	1,200	150	40	60	2,300	45
Remaining	39	-50	19	8	902	-5
	Calories	Carbs	Fat	Protein	Sodium	Sugar

Not too shabby. I guess it's healthier than eating 750 calories. Well, I'd better go get ready for tomorrow...meaning I'd better get horizontal on the couch and finish this movie that's way too long for a school night. 

Day Sixteen: Back on the Wagon!

Although I probably won't get any work done, I plan on using my day off for more than just binge watching the last season of Gossip Girl on Netflix. And rather than spend an hour writing one post before bed, I'm going to start now and update throughout the day. 

Even though I have off, my body still woke me up in time for work. I finally fell back to sleep and woke up around 8. After bumming around for a while, I made my way to Stop & Shop to get groceries for the week. Then I headed to the gym for a half hour on the elliptical. My neck and shoulder pain has been bad so I figured I would go easy on myself. 

Then I got started and this song came on:

How encouraging of you, Ice Cube! It was easier than I thought. I don't think I looked at the timer until I was 13 minutes in. The arm motions actually helped ease my shoulder pain. I didn't feel winded or anything. As I neared the 30 minute mark, I decided to up my time to an hour. Forty minutes in, this song came on:

Nothing motivates me more than this song. It makes me feel like Mystikal is chasing me and yelling in my ear. I was still feeling good. At 57:00, this song came on:

Another huge motivator for me! And perfect timing - I ended my workout going even faster. And finally, my cool down consisted of this gem from Zumba class:

About 18 months ago, I used to go to the gym and do an hour on the elliptical 7 days a week. I'm not back to my old speed, but I was pretty close. After my workout, I felt better - and more pain-free - than I had in a long time.

I felt like doing a victory lap around the gym

Looking a mess but feeling fabulous

At this point, I had had more than 2 bottles of water, but no food. Yesterday I committed to starting my detox today, so I decided to whip up a green smoothie. I'm not sure what this is going to do to my stomach yet, so I figured for today, the earlier I tried it, the better. 

Brunch: Green Smoothie

I realize that it's not Sunday. I'm not sure what else to call it when a day's first meal happens around 1:00. I was intimidated to begin this whole process, but I had to start sometime.

I am using the Raw Green Organic's 2 Week Detox system. It's vegan, caffeine-free, soy-free, and gluten-free (wait, we have issues with soy now?). The smoothie recipe I used consisted of 3 tablespoons of vegan protein powder, 1 tablespoon of organic super greens powder, and then from my own kitchen: 1 banana (I added this, totally randomly, to hopefully cover up the stank taste that I assumed would go along with the stank smell of these powders), 1 cup of almond milk, 1/4 teaspoon of (imitation) vanilla extract (since I realized the recipe that comes with the system advises using vanilla-flavored almond/soy/rice milk), and 3/4 cup ice. 

Ignore the trash in the corner

The initial sound of ice crushing in my Ninja damn near gave me a heart attack, but everything blended together quickly. As I began to pour the green sludge into a pint glass and saw that it was amounting to just over a pint (I guess because of the banana), my heart sank a little. I poured the excess into a small juice glass and started there.

...it wasn't as bad as I expected! 

It took me a while to drink these down because it wasn't fantastic...I really don't know how to describe it. Then I took the recommended supplements that came with the system - 1 capsule of super aloe ("a natural laxative and stool softener"), 1 capsule of vegan probiotic (which led me to question my regular probiotic, but it's safe), and 1 capsule of super fiber (another natural laxative). All of the above worry me. I took note of the time - 1:27 - expecting the smoothie and supplements to work something like this: 

Shortly thereafter, my eyelids started getting heavy. I got into bed around 2:00 for a lovely 2-hour nap. It's currently 5:08 and my insides are still intact.

Snack: I don't want to get started on dinner just yet, and I know I have a lot of calories to intake today. I went for my leftover artichoke heart and tomato salad.

Dinner: Israeli Couscous with Peas, Carrots, and Red Wine Vinegar and Seared Cauliflower with Garlic and Tamari

Oh, what a disappointment this is. Also, the nutrition facts on the Kickstart website are way off - 168 calories when this is really 347 - but luckily I could really eat in excess today.

I started by boiling 1 1/4 cups of vegetable broth and then adding a cup of Bob's Red Mill whole wheat pearl couscous. I removed that from the heat and stirred it every now and then. It never really fully absorbed. I have never used whole wheat Israeli couscous before so maybe it just needed more time.

I mixed this together with 1/4 cup of peas, 1/2 cup shredded carrots, a diced stalk of celery, 1/2 red bell pepper - diced, 1/8 red onion - diced, 1/4 cup of shredded red cabbage, 1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon, and 3 tablespoons of red wine vinegar. This makes 2 servings.

The cauliflower recipe called for a head of cauliflower, cut into florets, but I already had a bag of frozen, steam-in-bag cauliflower florets. I steamed them in the microwave and then sauteed them on medium for a few minutes. I added 2 tablespoons of tamari and cooked that for about 2 minutes, and then added 3 minced cloves of garlic and cooked it for about 3 more.

The verdict:

At first I was like, yesssssss this is so much food! I started with the cauliflower - I love cauliflower - and it was okay, but something about it tasted a little fishy to me. Maybe I'm used to using soy sauce on sushi so I just made the association.

Now the couscous, to put it plainly, sucked. I don't know why I continue to buy/use red pepper because I really don't like it. The cinnamon was totally out of place and the red wine vinegar was overpowering. 

I could only eat half of this. I have another serving for lunch tomorrow and I'm already dreading it. 

These are today's totals, although I may end up eating something else since I barely ate today and can't stomach my dinner.

Totals	654	100	13	34	1,685	19
Your Daily Goal	1,701	213	57	85	2,300	64
Remaining	1,047	113	44	51	615	45
	Calories	Carbs	Fat	Protein	Sodium	Sugar

My Fitness Pal is telling me that if every day was like today, I'd be 4 lbs away from my goal in 5 weeks. Every day is not going to be like today, but did I mention that I'm officially 5 lbs. down and only 15 days in to this diet? 

I'll leave you with this:

Day Fifteen: F This

This is how I feel right now:

This is what I've consumed so far. I can't guarantee that I won't drink another beer.

Totals	1,618	199	18	26	1,454	27
Your Daily Goal	1,200	150	40	60	2,300	45
Remaining	-418	-49	22	34	846	18
	Calories	Carbs	Fat	Protein	Sodium	Sugar

My dad's whole (NJ) side of the family came over to my parents' house for pasta dinner tonight. My Nana has been staying up here since Thanksgiving and she is going back home next weekend, so I wanted to see her before she left. We also did a little celebration for my brother's 25th birthday, which is at the end of the month.

I knew that we were having pasta, so I avoided eating before I went over there. The Cymbalta I was prescribed leaves me so thirsty, I probably had 6 waters before I got here, but I was starving. 

When I arrived, my mom informed me that there was cheese out in the other room. I guess I was already in a mood when I woke up, so I basically yelled, "I'm not eating cheese!" Then there was some brief back and forth about my current dietary habits, until I finally made it clear that I am doing this for my health: I feel a lot better and I've already lost almost 4 lbs (I'm back down to my pre-taco night weight). She was satisfied with that.

I had some giardinara, a few crackers, and some black olives to hold me over until dinner (it was about 3:00 when we started our snacking). Then I realized something horrible: my mom bought craft beer for the occasion. Brooklyn Lager (does that count?) and two kinds of Southern Tier. My parents are faithful Coors Light drinkers when it comes to beer, with the exception of Samuel Smith's Winter Welcome Ale in the colder months. Of course I had to try a Phin & Matt's APA. 162 calories. Not too bad.

The first course was Caesar salad. I made sure not to get any croutons and I didn't add anchovies (obvi) or cheese. I used a light balsamic vinaigrette. And I grabbed a piece of Italian bread because it's not everyday I get goods from Italian People's Bakery. At this point, my brother observes, "How do you know that bread doesn't have milk or eggs in it?" Why did I assume that bread was safe? UGH. Whatever. 

I had plans tonight and at this point, it was clear that I was getting stood up. It's amazing that I didn't swallow four meatballs whole. I don't think I can convey how amazing my mom's family's recipe for meatballs is. I have some friends who have been lucky enough to try them, and they seriously don't stop moaning while they eat. I'm really trying to avoid making this sound sexual, and I think I'm failing. I'll put it plainly: I've never had a meatball that can hold a candle to my mom's. They could be classified as Schedule 1 drugs.

The main course was rigatoni with my mom's equally fabulous sauce. Here's the rub: After cooking her meatballs and several other kinds of meat, like sausage, short ribs, pork, and sometimes rabbit, my mom puts the meat in the sauce while it cooks. When I was home on Friday, every inch of counter space was covered in thawing meat. When I asked if she could so kindly make a small pot of sauce without meat, she said no. Did I mention I come from a very stubborn family? I debated showing up with a jar of Francsco Rinaldi, but I didn't want to get hit with a wooden spoon. We've never had store-bought sauce in my house.

I had a generous serving of rigatoni - probably more than I logged in - and sucked it up and had the sauce (my mom takes all of the meat out and puts it in separate serving dishes, but I know that that doesn't make it vegan-friendly). I was even disciplined enough to shove aside the tiny pieces of magical meatballs I found in my sauce. I did have another piece of Italian bread because I was like "f everything" at this point. I also had a Southern Tier 2X IPA, which is a lovely 246 calories. 

No photo could do this justice

I did resist birthday cake and apple pie. I had a black coffee, which I forgot to log in, but that's negligible. 

I am going to go sulk with my Sam Adams Winter Lager and try to resist having another. I do have three things left to say, though: 

1) Overall, the support I've received has been overwhelmingly awesome and encouraging. Thank you guys!!!

2) Because I feel that I slipped a few times over the course of a few days, I am extending my 21-day pledge to 24 days. Instead of ending on January 25 (which is going to be a very challenging day, since I'm heading to Asbury Park Beerfest), I will end on January 28.

3) I am enjoying this mixtape way more than I expected to:

4) I made sure to take home 5 meatballs to put in my freezer for whenever I decide to stop being vegan. :)

5) Two week juice cleanse starts tomorrow!