Day Sixteen: Back on the Wagon!

Although I probably won't get any work done, I plan on using my day off for more than just binge watching the last season of Gossip Girl on Netflix. And rather than spend an hour writing one post before bed, I'm going to start now and update throughout the day. 

Even though I have off, my body still woke me up in time for work. I finally fell back to sleep and woke up around 8. After bumming around for a while, I made my way to Stop & Shop to get groceries for the week. Then I headed to the gym for a half hour on the elliptical. My neck and shoulder pain has been bad so I figured I would go easy on myself. 

Then I got started and this song came on:

How encouraging of you, Ice Cube! It was easier than I thought. I don't think I looked at the timer until I was 13 minutes in. The arm motions actually helped ease my shoulder pain. I didn't feel winded or anything. As I neared the 30 minute mark, I decided to up my time to an hour. Forty minutes in, this song came on:

Nothing motivates me more than this song. It makes me feel like Mystikal is chasing me and yelling in my ear. I was still feeling good. At 57:00, this song came on:

Another huge motivator for me! And perfect timing - I ended my workout going even faster. And finally, my cool down consisted of this gem from Zumba class:

About 18 months ago, I used to go to the gym and do an hour on the elliptical 7 days a week. I'm not back to my old speed, but I was pretty close. After my workout, I felt better - and more pain-free - than I had in a long time.

I felt like doing a victory lap around the gym

Looking a mess but feeling fabulous

At this point, I had had more than 2 bottles of water, but no food. Yesterday I committed to starting my detox today, so I decided to whip up a green smoothie. I'm not sure what this is going to do to my stomach yet, so I figured for today, the earlier I tried it, the better. 

Brunch: Green Smoothie

I realize that it's not Sunday. I'm not sure what else to call it when a day's first meal happens around 1:00. I was intimidated to begin this whole process, but I had to start sometime.

I am using the Raw Green Organic's 2 Week Detox system. It's vegan, caffeine-free, soy-free, and gluten-free (wait, we have issues with soy now?). The smoothie recipe I used consisted of 3 tablespoons of vegan protein powder, 1 tablespoon of organic super greens powder, and then from my own kitchen: 1 banana (I added this, totally randomly, to hopefully cover up the stank taste that I assumed would go along with the stank smell of these powders), 1 cup of almond milk, 1/4 teaspoon of (imitation) vanilla extract (since I realized the recipe that comes with the system advises using vanilla-flavored almond/soy/rice milk), and 3/4 cup ice. 

Ignore the trash in the corner

The initial sound of ice crushing in my Ninja damn near gave me a heart attack, but everything blended together quickly. As I began to pour the green sludge into a pint glass and saw that it was amounting to just over a pint (I guess because of the banana), my heart sank a little. I poured the excess into a small juice glass and started there.

...it wasn't as bad as I expected! 

It took me a while to drink these down because it wasn't fantastic...I really don't know how to describe it. Then I took the recommended supplements that came with the system - 1 capsule of super aloe ("a natural laxative and stool softener"), 1 capsule of vegan probiotic (which led me to question my regular probiotic, but it's safe), and 1 capsule of super fiber (another natural laxative). All of the above worry me. I took note of the time - 1:27 - expecting the smoothie and supplements to work something like this: 

Shortly thereafter, my eyelids started getting heavy. I got into bed around 2:00 for a lovely 2-hour nap. It's currently 5:08 and my insides are still intact.

Snack: I don't want to get started on dinner just yet, and I know I have a lot of calories to intake today. I went for my leftover artichoke heart and tomato salad.

Dinner: Israeli Couscous with Peas, Carrots, and Red Wine Vinegar and Seared Cauliflower with Garlic and Tamari

Oh, what a disappointment this is. Also, the nutrition facts on the Kickstart website are way off - 168 calories when this is really 347 - but luckily I could really eat in excess today.

I started by boiling 1 1/4 cups of vegetable broth and then adding a cup of Bob's Red Mill whole wheat pearl couscous. I removed that from the heat and stirred it every now and then. It never really fully absorbed. I have never used whole wheat Israeli couscous before so maybe it just needed more time.

I mixed this together with 1/4 cup of peas, 1/2 cup shredded carrots, a diced stalk of celery, 1/2 red bell pepper - diced, 1/8 red onion - diced, 1/4 cup of shredded red cabbage, 1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon, and 3 tablespoons of red wine vinegar. This makes 2 servings.

The cauliflower recipe called for a head of cauliflower, cut into florets, but I already had a bag of frozen, steam-in-bag cauliflower florets. I steamed them in the microwave and then sauteed them on medium for a few minutes. I added 2 tablespoons of tamari and cooked that for about 2 minutes, and then added 3 minced cloves of garlic and cooked it for about 3 more.

The verdict:

At first I was like, yesssssss this is so much food! I started with the cauliflower - I love cauliflower - and it was okay, but something about it tasted a little fishy to me. Maybe I'm used to using soy sauce on sushi so I just made the association.

Now the couscous, to put it plainly, sucked. I don't know why I continue to buy/use red pepper because I really don't like it. The cinnamon was totally out of place and the red wine vinegar was overpowering. 

I could only eat half of this. I have another serving for lunch tomorrow and I'm already dreading it. 

These are today's totals, although I may end up eating something else since I barely ate today and can't stomach my dinner.

Totals	654	100	13	34	1,685	19
Your Daily Goal	1,701	213	57	85	2,300	64
Remaining	1,047	113	44	51	615	45
	Calories	Carbs	Fat	Protein	Sodium	Sugar

My Fitness Pal is telling me that if every day was like today, I'd be 4 lbs away from my goal in 5 weeks. Every day is not going to be like today, but did I mention that I'm officially 5 lbs. down and only 15 days in to this diet? 

I'll leave you with this:

Day Five and Still Alive!!!

My old work buddy, George, posted something on Facebook recently that really resonated with me today. It's from "Phoenix Theory, the Psychology of Physical Rebirth" by Chris Shugart. Here's the excerpt that was running through my mind all day...

Stage #1: A traumatic event leading to a sudden realization and awakening

My "traumatic event" was having my body fat tested. It was humiliating and it shook me out of a pattern of dietary self-destruction. But traumatic events will vary according to the individual and his or her physique problem.

An overweight person may see a photo of himself that provides a blunt reality check. A skinny guy who thinks he trains hard might get asked by a beautiful woman if he even goes to the gym. A female might get asked how "far along" she is when she isn't even pregnant. A middle-aged man could get a scare from his doctor.

Most people walk around in a willful stupor when it comes to their body and their health. They know they're too fat, too puny, or otherwise out of shape, but they choose not to think about it too much. If they do think about it, they quickly rationalize, make excuses, and push the thought out of their head.

The traumatic event has to be powerful enough to shock them back to reality and sever the downward spiral of physical decay. Because of this, a "breakdown" of sorts is usually experienced. I punched a mirror in an act of self-disgust. Others may break down and cry. But this breakdown isn't a negative experience; it's merely the first step toward change and transformation. Remember, before the phoenix is reborn, he must first burn.

Although the end of the path is a positive physical change, the process — especially this first stage — isn't always pleasant. I doubt the phoenix feels good when dying in flames, but it's a necessary part of his rebirth.

Back in October, I went out for dinner and drinks for my co-worker's birthday. I thought I looked good when I left the house. Then this picture surfaced: 

...and I was like, "Oh, her? She got faaaaaaaat." I realize it's not a great angle and I'm wearing horizontal stripes. But still, I was like, daaaaaamn. I look dumpy as hell.

Did it motivate me?

No.

Today, I decided I that I desperately needed to go buy temporary "fat clothes" because I am so uncomfortable, physically and mentally, in almost everything I own. I also thought it might be an excuse not to do laundry. That experience and that dressing room mirror was my "traumatic event." 

I did okay today. I had way too many carbs and way too much sodium, but I net 937 calories and had very little sugar. Here are the totals, via My Fitness Pal:

Totals	1,490	290	13	63	3,262	50
Your Daily Goal	1,752	219	58	88	2,300	66
Remaining	262	-71	45	25	-962	16
	Calories	Carbs	Fat	Protein	Sodium	Sugar

Breakfast: Green Glamour Smoothie 

Kale FTW!!! This was so, so good and much more filling than I expected a smoothie to be. I whipped it up last night, and only a little bit of it exploded all over my fridge and floor when I dropped my Blender Bottle this morning.

Into my Ninja went: one very ripe banana, one cup of sliced strawberries, half a cup of blueberries, a few blackberries (the recipe called for half a cup, but mine had started to get moldy. I took a risk and used the ones that looked okay. I'll eat mold but not flies), one packed cup of chopped kale, and one cup of almond milk. 

A word about the kale: Kale worries me. I always think I hate it. Maybe I don't. Either way, I read online that a great way to prepare kale for smoothies is to get rid of all the stems and freeze it. I made a bunch of plastic bags full of one cup of kale each and stuck them in the freezer. When you're ready to make a smoothie, you just take the plastic bag out and kind of crush it up in your hands so you get little kale flakes. It makes it almost nonexistent. Yay!

This recipe makes 3 cups, and I drank 2 of them before I left for work this morning (plus coffee/almond milk, duh). 

Uno

Dos

Tres

Lunch: Moroccan bean stew with sweet potatoes and couscous

Ugh, fennel.

Mid-Day Workout: Yes, you read that correctly. How awesome is our school's media specialist for outfitting our media center with a bunch of FitDesks? I graded research papers researched flights to SoCal on my laptop while spinning on the stationary bike for 35 minutes. 

Snacktime: 2 carrots (cut into "sticks;" again, I have no control over the shapes I make with knives) with homemade hummus, 5 strawberries

Dinner: Blue Corn Chip Salad

This is an interesting concoction. First, I spread two cups of Trader Joe's Baked Blue Corn Chips out on a plate. I topped that with TJ's Red Oak Artisan Lettuce (half of the package, ripped into pieces) and then half a can of black beans (I was too lazy to rinse them. Why are canned beans so slimy, smelly, and gross?). On top of that went half a cup of Whole Foods medium salsa (the fresh kind from the refrigerator, not the stuff in a jar). Believe me when I say this stuff is heavenly. Before I went vegan, I knew I had to use up all of the eggs in my house, so I was regularly eating 4 scrambled ones for breakfast topped with this ambrosia. On top of that went a sliced roasted red pepper. And to top it all off, half of a diced tomato, which was totally superfluous. 

I wanted to smother this in guacamole ranch dressing

Overall, it was okay. If you crush up the chips, it makes a nice crunch. I'm going to go throw together another one with the leftovers for tomorrow's lunch...I guess this time, the chips will go on top since I'll need to pack them separately to avoid sogginess. 

The Real Workout: While my clothes were in the dryer at the laundromat (seriously, how disciplined was I today?!), I went to the gym and pounded out 40 minutes on the elliptical. On the way, I caught Lady Gaga and R. Kelly's "Do What U Want" on the radio and then gym time turned into "how many times can one listen to this song?"  (Answer: about 5; the other half of my workout involved sweating profusely to Hardwell). I took the lyrics "do what you want with my body" as inspiration: I'm doing what I want with my body. And it feels damn good. 

Remember when Gaga was "fat"?