Day Twelve

I may have neglected to post this (I think I did, anyway), but at the beginning of the week, I noticed that I had lost about 3.5 lbs. Well, I didn't particularly notice, but the scale told me so. I did notice that I could button my pants with ease. I felt a little bit less flabby. 

Notice that I'm writing in the past tense. If you read my earlier post, you'll understand how I tooooootttttaaaaallllyyy let myself go last night (side note: I am typing this on my iPhone in the rheumatologist's waiting room and a radio commercial just came on and mentioned "stale Christmas cookies." I salivated. Give me your old, your crumbly, your stale...I have a hunger that is biblical right now. That's it; I'm totally baking vegan cookies when I get home).

Today, I'm wearing a Spanx camisole that I bought on my "temporary fat clothes" shopping trip (it's not sucking in enough). Today, I mistakenly wore horizontal stripes. Today, I am essentially starving myself to make up for the past two days, which is surely neither effective or healthy. But in my remorseful mind, it's totally logical. 

Totals	880	151	20	29	794	31
Your Daily Goal	1,200	150	40	60	2,300	45
Remaining	320	-1	20	31	1,506	14
	Calories	Carbs	Fat	Protein	Sodium	Sugar

I use to watch a show on NBC that has since been canceled. Maya Rudolph played an eccentric pop star-turned talk show host and I've had her voice from one of the episodes in my head all day: "we're on a cleanse, y'all!" 

That's it. I'm starting the juicing tonight. Not like Jersey Shore gorilla juicing. It's actually not even juice, I don't think. Well, we'll get there when I get there. Before I get ahead of myself:

Breakfast: Artisanal Porridge

This is an inside joke, but it might as well be true. This vegan oatmeal had matcha in it. Matcha! 

It tasted like oatmeal and, like oatmeal, it exploded in the microwave and turned into a sticky mess that I had to wrap a paper towel around. 

Right now it's a sticky mess in the cup holder of my car. 

As far as my review? Well, like I said, it was oatmeal. How good can oatmeal be? And it was a lot of calories for oatmeal. 

I also had a large black coffee from Dunkin Donuts with 2 Splenda.

Lunch: I left guacamole quinoa and a cup of arugula in the work fridge, but it's been a minute since I made the quinoa, so I was a little worried about whether or not it was still good. I packed my Whole Foods' quinoa salad just in case.

The guacamole quinoa was fine. I must say, I'm proud of how good I'm being about not letting food (namely, produce) go to waste. Quinoa salad tomorrow! (Side note: I just cleaned about 3 cups of quinoa and coffee grounds out of my kitchen sink drain).

Snacks: I don't deserve snacks today. Nor did I have time to eat any. I even denied myself a banana. It wasn't a frozen banana, but I felt a little like Lucille Bluth (when do I not?) anyway.

Dinner: The original plan, when I first starting typing, was to begin my organic raw juice detox cleanse stuff tonight. Then the rheumatologist put me on a medication that I have to take with food so that went out the window. Realistically, I can't commit to two weeks of "cleansing" right now anyway. I'm not going to be home enough this weekend.

So, I decided to make a confetti couscous salad stuffed pepper. I had half of a red bell pepper left in the fridge so I stuffed it with some of the couscous salad (which also contains pepper...how meta). 

Oh yeah, I made my fake garlic naan too (I had one flatbread left) but this time I made it in the toaster and it was way awesomer. 

Well, I have a lot to do this weekend so it's time for me to get ready for the next few days. I might bake vegan cookies later. I might not get on a scale for a week. We'll see. I'll try to update tomorrow, but I'll be going out for sushi with the girls so that might not happen. Later!

Day Six Slump

Is this the day six slump? I can't say that today is going as well as my other days have. The only difference I can think of thus far are: 1) I forgot to take my garcinia cambogia, 2) I drank more coffee than usual (well, I don't know, actually; I did have that extra serving of coffee the day that I "lost" 40 minutes of sleep...speaking of which, Sleep Cycle be damned. I have been turning it off when my "recommended" alarm sounds and going back to bed). I'm currently drafting this post after lunch and I'm not feeling so hot. If you know me well, you know that my stomach almost always hurts and that, like John Mulaney's girlfriend now fiance (another one bites the dust), I'm pretty vocal about it.

I've been bragging about how much better I've felt since I went vegan, but today, well, MY STOMACH HURTS!!! I'm also nauseous, which feels like the "took-a-multi-vitamin-without-enough-food" kind of nauseous. 

Here are today's totals, with a breakdown of each meal:

Totals	895	168	18	27	2,023	21
Your Daily Goal	1,200	150	40	60	2,300	45
Remaining	305	-18	22	33	277	24
	Calories	Carbs	Fat	Protein	Sodium	Sugar

I did better with carbs, but I realize I didn't eat much. You'll see why.

Breakfast:Cinnamon Toast Crunch with almond milk (standard measly serving, eaten in the bathroom while straightening my hair. Gross, I know). I was too lazy to make coffee today so I stopped at Dunkin Donuts on my way to work. If I had time, I would have gone to Starbucks. Whenever I ask for soy milk at Dunkin Donuts, they look at me like I asked them to lighten my coffee with unicorn pee. I settled for a black coffee, 20 oz., with 2 Splenda. OK, yeah, I'm feeling pretty jittery. And nauseous. And gross.

Oops, I Googled this at work. 

Lunch: Blue corn chip saladdddd (drag it out for extra ugh)

I made the same salad that I had for dinner last night and transporting it to work required two food storage containers and sandwich bag (for the chips). Once I dumped the chips on the plate, it was clear that I had not packed enough. Once I dumped the container of the lettuce on top of the chips, I felt like Peter Rabbit. Maybe I didn't use enough last night, but this looked like a truckload of lettuce. On top went the black beans, salsa, diced tomato, and sliced roasted red pepper. I had just mixed them altogether in a separate container.

I neglected to take a picture of this, but eating it seemed like climbing the Mount Everest of food. I ended up packing some of the lettuce away because I couldn't even get to the best part: the chips. I ended up throwing half of it away. This time, it wasn't so much because I was full; MY STOMACH HURTS!!!, remember? Maybe it's the black beans. Maybe my stomach missed hurting. All I know is I have a class to teach in 13 minutes and I feel like I am going to DIIIIIIIIIIIE.

Twelve hours later...

I'm Friday slacking it. I almost forgot to post. I neglected the gym to come home and watch Freaks & Geeks in bed because it's cold and raining. But on the plus side,

1) I finally took down my Christmas tree. It's a Christmas miracle.

2) I cleaned out all of the receipts I've been hoarding. I sure did spend a lot of money at bars (how was I possibly back at my college haunt, Olive Branch, that many times?), liquor stores, Michael's, and Number One Chinese in 2013. Awwww man, now I'm waxing all nostalgic for Olive Branch and I was just there 2 weeks ago.

3) I took the clean dishes out of the dishwasher and put most of the dirty ones into the dishwasher.

4) I resisted the temptation to go out/stay in and drink beer/wine. 

All hail me, for succumbing to adult responsibilities!

I finally remembered to take my garcinia cambogia when I got home from work up from my TV bingeing session. I'm feeling a little hungry now, but it's bedtime so that should go away soon...

Snack: Before I left work, I had an oatmeal banana bite. I microwaved it for 30 seconds again. I think it somehow got burned in the microwave. Or maybe these need to get tossed. They sure smell good, though.

Dinner: Guacamole quinoa and arugula 

Even better as time goes on...one more serving left in the fridge.

Well, I think I'm going to either go to bed or come up with next week's meals and see what I need to get at the grocery store tomorrow. I could stop by Trader Joe's since I'm heading down that way tomorrow, but I won't be going home afterwards and it's actually going to be warmer than refrigerator temperature...

Well, I'll figure it out. Happy weekend!