Days Twenty-Two and Twenty-Three

Guys, I'm in love. We'll get to that later. First, let me recap my hellish Sunday.

Sunday was one of those days where I just couldn't eat. THANKS BEERFEST! (On the plus side, this means I lost any of the beer/illicit andouille sausage weight that I gained on Saturday). 

I ended up driving home around 4 AM because I knew it was going to be a rough morning and I wanted to spend that rough morning in my own bed. I steamed myself in a hot shower for 2 hours (I'm not even kidding. Drinking can after can of ice cold seltzer in a scalding shower really helps). Around 7:00, I decided to heat up a slice of Tofutti pizza for breakfast. I was not patient enough to cook it in the toaster oven for 20 minutes as per the instructions, so I microwaved it and ate it all soggy and weird-like. 

Throughout the day, I drank at least 9 waters (including seltzer) and noshed on some Wheat Thins in bed during my Daria marathon (I mostly kept watching the same episode over and over because I kept falling asleep).

I woke up around 9:00 PM and took all of my supplements, then heated up a cup of TJ's low sodium vegetable broth with 1/2 cup of whole wheat couscous in it. I sprinkled some garlic on top, but it was still pretty bland. But that's exactly what I needed. I am leaning very heavily toward total teetotalism because even though I skipped my dose of Cymbalta on Saturday, beer is still not jiving with me. 

Then My Fitness Pal gave me this warning:

Totals	470	83	16	11	808	17
Your Daily Goal	1,200	150	40	60	2,300	45
Remaining	730	67	24	49	1,492	28
	Calories	Carbs	Fat	Protein	Sodium	Sugar

Don't encourage me to go into starvation mode, My Fitness Pal. That weight is basically my goal! Now that I'm toying with the idea of going to the Dominican Republic with Stacey for Easter, I really need to get more vigilant. But I still have 11 weeks to go :)

Now for today!

I had several doctor's appointments, including one with an orthopedist that I had to wait weeks for, so I took off work. I only had time for coffee + almond milk for breakfast before I left. Oh, I did slather my lips with this, too:

Don't look at my gross nails; I just peeled off my gel manicure

Yes, I'm the vegan in the angora sweater with the bacon lip balm.

The appointment took forever. Diagnosis: Hip bursitis (which I could have predicted in November when the pain started) and radiculopathy, which is going to require an MRI and I am terrified. I have to say, I was very impressed with the doctor and the other staff members, though. If anyone needs an ortho in the Central Jersey/Jersey Shore area, hit me up! He and his technician were wonderful. I did have to remove my daith piercing for MORE x-rays and I have yet to get it back in my ear. First world problems grumble grumble grumble. I also turned down a cortisone shot in my hip since I also had to go get 5 shots at the allergist. That was enough.

After the allergist, I barely had time to eat, but I headed to Starbucks. Guess what? Starbucks does not offer any truly vegan products! I got a grande iced coffee with soy milk (since it was a balmy 45 degrees outside) and a Hearty Veggie & Brown Rice salad bowl, which contains honey in its lemon tahini dressing. Oh well. I'm not going to get all bent out of shape about honey. I can't believe I eat this stuff with kale and beets in it. 

Oh wait, I just realized why I had no time to really eat - I wasted a very long time at Target. I had just been thinking about how much happier and cheerful I've been since I went vegan. Typically, I'm the kind of person to scream, kick, and throw things when I'm by myself and pissed off (particularly if I'm driving). However, now that I'm not pumped full of gross meat hormones, I've been very calm. Nevertheless, when I came out of Target and saw that someone had slammed her shopping cart into the side of my (pretty new) car rather than walking three feet to the cart return on the other side of my car, you can bet that I let some F-bombs fly in the parking lot.

Now on to the most amazing meal of today: Dinner. I had been dying to make these vegan burgers for ages and now I just want to live on them. No, I want to live in them. I used a recipe from Vegetarian Times to make 4 burgers. 

Look at the pretty layers!

Into the Ninja went 1/2 cup of cannellini beans, 1/2 cup of black beans, 1 1/2 cups of shredded carrots, a cup of coarsely chopped onion, 1/2 cup rolled oats, 1/4 cup chopped cilantro, 3 chopped cloves of garlic, a tablespoon of chili powder, salt, and pepper. I pulsed the mixture until everything was mixed together but not pureed. I checked to see if it was ready to be molded into patties, but the mixture didn't seem quite sticky enough, so I added some of the liquid from the beans (make sure you reserve this liquid when you drain your beans). 

All mixed up

I let this sit (and set) in the fridge for about 30 minutes and then I formed the mixture into 4 1" patties. I preheated a skillet with a tablespoon of EVOO and then heat the patty for 3 minutes on one side, 3 minutes on the other side, 2 minutes on the first side again, and 2 more minutes on the other side - 5 minutes total per side, if you're worse at math than I am.

I put this on top of a slice of Tofutti American cheese on a TJ's multigrain sandwich thin. It got nice and melty. On the other side of the bun, I put a thick tomato slice, some pickle slices, and a healthy portion of Dijon mustard. I put both sides together and holy (non) cow, I went to heaven. 

The patty getting all oily and steamy

Garnishing this heavenly burger

Meet the new love of my life

Today's totals:

Totals	993	117	46	28	2,473	21
Your Daily Goal	1,200	150	40	60	2,300	45
Remaining	207	33	-6	32	-173	24
	Calories	Carbs	Fat	Protein	Sodium	Sugar

Did I mention that I've lost 8 lbs already? (probably). Today when I was getting dressed, I actually looked at myself in the mirror and said out loud, "I love my body." It looks like I can take my fat jeans back to the store since I never even wore them!

Anyway, I've fallen off the smoothie game for the past 3 days, but I've continued with (and upped) the supplements. Time to go wash the Ninja so I can have a smoothie breakfast tomorrow! 

Day Twelve

I may have neglected to post this (I think I did, anyway), but at the beginning of the week, I noticed that I had lost about 3.5 lbs. Well, I didn't particularly notice, but the scale told me so. I did notice that I could button my pants with ease. I felt a little bit less flabby. 

Notice that I'm writing in the past tense. If you read my earlier post, you'll understand how I tooooootttttaaaaallllyyy let myself go last night (side note: I am typing this on my iPhone in the rheumatologist's waiting room and a radio commercial just came on and mentioned "stale Christmas cookies." I salivated. Give me your old, your crumbly, your stale...I have a hunger that is biblical right now. That's it; I'm totally baking vegan cookies when I get home).

Today, I'm wearing a Spanx camisole that I bought on my "temporary fat clothes" shopping trip (it's not sucking in enough). Today, I mistakenly wore horizontal stripes. Today, I am essentially starving myself to make up for the past two days, which is surely neither effective or healthy. But in my remorseful mind, it's totally logical. 

Totals	880	151	20	29	794	31
Your Daily Goal	1,200	150	40	60	2,300	45
Remaining	320	-1	20	31	1,506	14
	Calories	Carbs	Fat	Protein	Sodium	Sugar

I use to watch a show on NBC that has since been canceled. Maya Rudolph played an eccentric pop star-turned talk show host and I've had her voice from one of the episodes in my head all day: "we're on a cleanse, y'all!" 

That's it. I'm starting the juicing tonight. Not like Jersey Shore gorilla juicing. It's actually not even juice, I don't think. Well, we'll get there when I get there. Before I get ahead of myself:

Breakfast: Artisanal Porridge

This is an inside joke, but it might as well be true. This vegan oatmeal had matcha in it. Matcha! 

It tasted like oatmeal and, like oatmeal, it exploded in the microwave and turned into a sticky mess that I had to wrap a paper towel around. 

Right now it's a sticky mess in the cup holder of my car. 

As far as my review? Well, like I said, it was oatmeal. How good can oatmeal be? And it was a lot of calories for oatmeal. 

I also had a large black coffee from Dunkin Donuts with 2 Splenda.

Lunch: I left guacamole quinoa and a cup of arugula in the work fridge, but it's been a minute since I made the quinoa, so I was a little worried about whether or not it was still good. I packed my Whole Foods' quinoa salad just in case.

The guacamole quinoa was fine. I must say, I'm proud of how good I'm being about not letting food (namely, produce) go to waste. Quinoa salad tomorrow! (Side note: I just cleaned about 3 cups of quinoa and coffee grounds out of my kitchen sink drain).

Snacks: I don't deserve snacks today. Nor did I have time to eat any. I even denied myself a banana. It wasn't a frozen banana, but I felt a little like Lucille Bluth (when do I not?) anyway.

Dinner: The original plan, when I first starting typing, was to begin my organic raw juice detox cleanse stuff tonight. Then the rheumatologist put me on a medication that I have to take with food so that went out the window. Realistically, I can't commit to two weeks of "cleansing" right now anyway. I'm not going to be home enough this weekend.

So, I decided to make a confetti couscous salad stuffed pepper. I had half of a red bell pepper left in the fridge so I stuffed it with some of the couscous salad (which also contains pepper...how meta). 

Oh yeah, I made my fake garlic naan too (I had one flatbread left) but this time I made it in the toaster and it was way awesomer. 

Well, I have a lot to do this weekend so it's time for me to get ready for the next few days. I might bake vegan cookies later. I might not get on a scale for a week. We'll see. I'll try to update tomorrow, but I'll be going out for sushi with the girls so that might not happen. Later!