If I Can Vegan, So Can You: Wannabe Vegan Can't Stop Eating Pizza

After suffering through what was probably the worst migraine I've ever had in my life, I finally regained my appetite around 9 PM on Friday. All I could think about was pizza.

If you've ever been to my house, you know that I am lucky enough to live next door to a very amazing pizza place. When I first moved here in September of 2011, after we got all of my stuff inside, my mom ordered a pie and wings and got to know the owner a little bit. Although I won't divulge the name and address of said pizzeria because that would give away my own address, they've been there for 40 years and the whole family is always there working. Even though I lost power for two weeks after Hurricane Sandy, this pizzeria had a generator and (when I wasn't running away to my cousin's house in unaffected South Jersey) I would go sit there and eat to while away the time (and when I was in South Jersey, I would call them to see if my power was back on!).

Anyway, there is more than one problem with living next door to a reputable pizzeria: 1) When you get home, all you can smell is garlic and awesomeness, and it becomes difficult to avoid eating pizza every single day and 2) Sometimes you're just too lazy to put on pants and walk there, but you're also way too embarrassed to ask them to deliver.

The latter was my problem on Friday night - so, I did what I always do in these situations and I ordered from somewhere else. I usually choose the pizza place around the corner - it's technically walkable, but slightly less embarrassing to ask them to deliver. This time, however, I decided to try somewhere new. I DON'T KNOW WHY.

With tip and delivery, this pie came to $16 - a pretty hefty sum when large plains go for $8 on certain days of the week. I think the delivery guy got lost, because he called me for directions (WHO DOESN'T HAVE GPS?!) and the pizza was a little cold when it arrived (and it wasn't in one of those special delivery bags when he came to my door). It also looked like it didn't sit evenly in the car on the way over and some of the cheese shifted to the left side of the pie. Basically, it was gooey and sloppy and hard to even separate into slices. However, my Facebook post "Date night with my <3" and this picture caused an uproar:

It was then that I decided I would try a new challenge: an all-pizza diet all weekend. Now this was something I would have no trouble doing.

I housed three slices and fell asleep on the couch watching True Detective. When I woke up, I had another slice and was ready to face the day.

I had some errands to run, which included grocery shopping, and I picked up a few things for Flynn, who is still recovering from surgery and can't drive yet. Before I left Stop & Shop, I texted "I'm starving. Pizza?" and before he could answer, I threw a Newman's Own margherita into my cart. When I got there, we threw that sucker in the oven and then cut it in half when it was ready.

It was not as good as I remembered.

Anyway, somehow this held me over for the whole day. Soooooo to me, eating half a pizza mid-day sounds like a legit diet plan, right?

Well, at 9 AM today, I was starving and I knew that it would be next to impossible to find a pizzeria that was open. I actually debated trying the Pizza Hut at the rest stop on the Garden State Parkway (which reminded me that I live in the GARDEN STATE, which might as well be called the PIZZA STATE and we don't do that). In my consternation, I discovered this app

but that didn't open any pizzerias or allow me to time travel. I decided that I would have to go to the grocery store and see my frozen options - but I'd avoid Newman's Own this time (which is hard to do since Paul Newman is such a dreamboat, even in old man cartoon form).

I'll take a slice of that

And that

And this

But also this

And this!

And let's throw in young Marlon with a cat for good measure

Anyway, I got stuck going to the A&P, which is my least favorite grocery store (who ranks grocery stores? Me.) and their frozen pizza game was lacking. But then I saw the holy grail of frozen delicacies...allow me to backtrack to the fall of 2012.

One day, I drove into the city with Steve to visit his friend Dylan and I decided not to leave. I mean, obviously not forever, but I stayed another night. I think Mike and I planned to watch football on his roof or something. I ended up going to see The Divine Fits at Webster Hall.

It was random. The next day, before I hopped on a train and got miserably lost trying to walk home from the train station, I walked the Highline with Stacey.

After enjoying the beautiful October weather (my favorite) we went on a hunt for food (you know where this is going by now). Stacey said we had to try Artichoke Pizza. I love artichokes, I love pizza...it was a match made in heaven.

Okay, now fast forward to 9:30 AM today...I'm weighing my (lack of) options at A&P when I spot FROZEN ARTICHOKE PIZZA!

After a heated internal debate over artichoke vs. margherita, I took my artichoke pizza to the self checkout and tried to resist skipping back to my car.

Twelve minutes in the oven and I was in delicious bliss.